The Life Of Zashura Dragneel
by anielsen33326
Summary: In other words, "Dragneel Fuckery In Alvarez" Manga Spoilers Without Actually Having Read The Manga(not after Star Mango Island, I think; I need to catch up on The Final Season) Pairings: Natsu x Zeref, Larcade x OC (to be "kept in the dark", read the first version before this summary) Rated M very soon; mpreg;
1. The Birth

The Birth

**(PS: I finally figured out how to get this from Wattpad to here; you, along with anyone who would care to bother to comment on the Wattpad version of this, will be the ones to "call out my BS"**

**(And this will be edited)**

* * *

"Ahhhhhh!" Natsu cried. The baby is coming!  
Currently, some new members of Fairy Tail are sitting just outside the Alvarez Palace infirmary. The Spriggan 12 were ordered to stay away today. The walls were enchanted to be muffled to low, bawling noises. Natsu is screaming from being in labor, his brother/husband (as of a few months ago) having volunteered to make the delivery.  
His death aura mimicked his curse; Zeref is able to control it, with the help of the constant companionship of his brother.  
**(Btw, Acnologia is still dead. The Final Battle resolved with a team-up against him, and the Book of END still exists(plus it stands as blackmail material/funsies. I just made time act normal for everyone else, unlike in my "real version". I just might combine these two mediums in my head)** "Just a bit more. Push!" Natsu does so, and the head pops out. "Push! You can do it, Natsu!"  
"I KNOW THAT, SHITHEAD!" The belly now.  
"It's almost out, Natsu!" You could hear the five girls muffling crying, one leaning into her boyfriend.  
"We're at the feet!"  
"I'M PUSHING!" _Pop!_  
Zeref hands the baby over to his husband, said mother(who will always be teased for it, against his will) clocked out with eyes swirling. He didn't bother to check the gender. "Natsu..." he whispered. "Wake up, wifey-poo~"  
_Splat!_ Lip lock. Zeref pulled away after a few seconds of staring. "As much as I want to, Natsu, you, as the mother, must hold the honor of seeing its eyes." he whispered, cooing. No one else could hear at this volume. He held it in front of him. Natsu blinked twice, registering the situation. He peered at the butt, not finding a penis(One particular fanfic, I recall, said that in reincarnation, a d*** had to be given to avoid being reborn a girl).  
"She's a girl." The mom whispered confusedly. Another blink, and he smiled that Dragneel smile. So Zeref thrust her into the other's arms, who caught it perfectly. "Her name is Zashura!"  
Zeref sweat-dropped.  
"Oi! It's either that or yours! We agreed!"  
Zeref groaned, a cloud puff leaving. "Zashura, it is!" He busted a soft, identical grin. Zanine didn't fit Zeref, Natsu aquiesced. The door is heavily locked with anti-magic runes, so no one could power their way through.  
Zeref pulled out the birthing papers outta seemingly nowhere, sitting on the bed side-by-side.  
(Zeref's neat, elegant handwriting)

_Place of Birth: Palace of Alvarez _  
_Birthdate: 7 November X5018(I'll fix it later. Deep Calculations required)_

_Mother: Natsu Dragneel("Hey!")_  
_Father: Zeref Dragneel_  
_Sex: Girl_  
_Name: Zashura Natsu Dragneel_


	2. Jingles Times: Christmas Special: Part 1

***pop***  
**Zetsuryuu: As of recently, my name has been confirmed to be Zetsuryuu, but you can call me Zetsu for short, and yes, from **_**Naruto.**_  
**Me: Give your opinion on Christmas.**  
**Zetsu: *slurps a blueberry slushies that he made from thin air* Author-san is lazy—**  
**Me: Hey!**  
**Zetsu: I am in my true form for the day *smirks* and Christmas is invigorating. I remember, blurry at that, that my first Christmas was very messy. I kept sticking my tongue at everyone, and the cold hated me.**  
**Me: OK, now we only have to start the story. Yay! Merry Christmas, leave a comment or two, yadda-yadda, and gimme requests if ya want more content**

**Zetsu: You can ask me stuff, too. This is basically a one-shot book, people. **  
**Zetsu: Oh, and I am 11.**

* * *

Natsu woke up with a jolt. He looked around, but then realized a few seconds later—friction.  
_It's too cold. What is Invel doing?_  
He noticed the frost around the room, too—covered every corner! Zeref isn't bothered by it, though.  
He ran out the door, and sped to Invel's room.  
Well, after changing Zashura's diaper. That thing was less stinky than anyone expected.

"Invel!"

The man shot up, eyes turning cold, wary, cautious.

"What is it, my Lord?"

"Why is it freezing in my room?!" He thrust the baby into the man's arms.

**(I always imagine the guy with white or light-blue hair, but the red eyes took me by surprise. So I am going by the original version. And yes, I have to research and take pictures of all these dudes. But I watched some Brandish (anime/manga Star Mango Island, first) and Dimaria (research)vids, so I know what they look like and what Brandish does. There will be more power use between them all as Zashura-chan grows up; and yes, more research (i don't REALLY give a f*ck about what they did, cuz' it's not rlly related to this fic aside from mentions, arguments and cameos. But I AM interested because Final Season is out, and I am stuck on the episode where Ajeel's Sand-trap is introduced and turned to glass, his debut and stuff. So...plz be smartarses for this. Tick marks and flames will be fired back, but whatever. I gotta bite the bullet like Harriet Tubman did, the stubborn woman. #FreedomTrain(it's a good read, and, no, I am NOT sponsoring nor being sponsored by it.))**

**(And, yes, posting these pictures is to remind myself of what they look like)**

Ice Dude blinked twice, and intoned, "Nightmarish Christmas"

He glared at the mother. Invel is wise enough to _NOT _joke about it, except for on occasion to show that he has a sense of humor.

"Oi! I happen to_ like _shopping for Christmas. _It has a sense of adventure!_" He screamed the last part in Sinian**(yeah, Imma call it that now until I change ma mind. Call it whatever between the two. The bros are from the country of Sin in Ishgar (canon or not); deal with it; Invel, as adviser, must learn it).**

Invel sighed._ MUST we go through this again? _

He pinched his nose in frustration, red eyes searing, teeth mashing against themselves, subtle enough so only the palace people could notice it. "You do not need to travel _ALL THE WAY_ to Ishgar _JUST_ to gather a few rooms' worth of decorations. We gather them ourselves, _especially_ myself." Invel knows not to yell as loudly as he should, since this is Natsu and not the Emperor. The hot-headed flame-bastard-_Gray is insufferable at the best of times, plain as day,_ he thought-seems to only register insults and hostility in these situations.

And he does not want to be burned again.

_One_ day of being called blubber butt is enough, never mind the times _afterwards_.

"Hmph! You are coming with me, then! It's nine in the morning! _You heard how loud she cries! "_

Invel groaned in his head._ This will be a looong day. _

The baby decided to cry at that point. He returned the proper to its proper place, safer in her Momma's presence. Invel is harder to control.

The flight took three hours this time, due to Natsu having to stop and melt all the anger-ice, which happened to also kill the whales and people. It usually saved the animals, even if Natsu _today_ decided to pray to his birthland's deities today, which also took a while.

Which froze even _more _ocean.

Finally, they reached Magnolia, the Little Lady dry heaving for the last time in a while. The Winter General swiped her from the mother's arms, enraged again at this action, and made a hasty escape to the guild ahead-making sure to freeze a certain pest/poser's general area, based on the direction of the baby's snot bubble. The little blue-ball failed at making himself budge from the tackle.

And then Invel used all his might to popsiclize Natsu at the door.

And encase the Little Lady in an Ice Slave covering(the collar is overkill(also literally), and this does the same thing).

"One: You are still dead." This started a long chain of snickering and comedy.

He will be the base of Zashura's diss-track humor.

"Two: Natsu-sama will be more likely to punch you today." Gray started to argue otherwise, having broken from his prison (Invel wants to "watch" his retorts)

He continued, "he still doesn't like you.

"Three: I am superior.

"Four: I can actually kill, peopl-"

Erza collapsed. "-el-Baldie." Now everyone is laughing proudly, tears in their eyes. A few fall.

"Bastard! I'll kill you!" He charges the guy, but the baby points in his direction (motions, really, this early in life)-and he freezes the brat again.

"Remember all the times I froze those flaming 'whatsits'? Just look at the Lord beside me." Then he froze the whole hall, somehow only keeping the bodies chilly despite how external cold.

Then everybody fell. "Five: Devil Slayer does not do _fuck,_" some got tummy-ache and lost consciousness "since you are incapable of hitting me properly." Then everybody lost consciousness. He let the ice fall away as Natsu-sama burned his way out of the popsicle stick position, and finished off the icing on the cake here.

_Natsu-sama would really like to bring home a cake, I suspect,_ he thought, half-sneering, half-curling upwards in more frustration.

Natsu-sama burned more ice off, so Invel left the Hall to get this bedeviled shopping over with.

Once outside, Natsu threw an Infernal Curse, one of everlasting flames, at Invel. This one would disappear once Natsu willed it to, even if he happens to run out of curse power.

The Winter General is lucky that he constantly upkeeps a coating of ice around himself (think of Gaara's Sand Armor/skin/whatever, but it's frosty ice), so that he couldn't burn to an ashy, living creature.

The point of this is so that Invel could not spread his powers-plus Natsu's flames are stronger than all Ice Users'.

It's been awhile, so the 20% off sales surprised him. Summer-wear was usually 50% off, but whatever.

_First we're going to the streamers,_ he thought. Brandish can still lengthen the things, so it is better to not buy _too_ much.

Just enough for all 20-25 rooms. Spriggan territory, including the Shields.

"Oi! Old man!" The guy is currently 84 years old, if he remembers correctly, his birthday passing a few days after his last visit to Magnolia. Last time Natsu was here, Zeref sent him off for flowers and streamers.

20% off for Spriggan-sama's visits.

"What is it, Spriggan-sama?" He grouched.

"Don't be so mean," Natsu pouted. "That's rude. Invel here can attest to that." Natsu stepped aside to let the old fart see the flaming Spriggan (everybody with "Spriggan" in the title(s) can be called that) push up his glasses menacingly.

Natsu winced at that. The guy's been_ even more ruthless_ as the years millennia dragged on, growing more fiery as the years pass. Sure, Natsu, as the strongest Etherious, can wipe the floor with him, but Invel is a good guy, truly!

The old fart nodded gravely and headed to the backroom. The "flamer" took his cue, waiting outside so as not to ruin business.

A half-hour later, of which Natsu spent studying his anatomy again.

And watching his "pwecious little baby" giggly live up to the title of Spriggan.

The old guy tip-toed out with a runed crate in hand, multicolored streamers peeking out. The guy announced 50,000 Jewels for 98 kilometers of streamers.

40% off overall.

Plus two regular crates of pink confetti, the bastard. "Nearly depleted my whole inventory," He grouched. Natsu tickled his little baby's neck, the peppy little thing. Just like her fathers. The old fart is wise enough not to comment, furrowed angry brows the only sign.

The man snarled, "I don't get a new shipment until Valentines' Day!"

_Ah, the memories_, Natsu softly reminiscences-showering his brother in pink confetti, every single bakery food that he prepared himself prepared beforehand, helping him with the paperwork like a good little Prince, the works.

Natsu smacks down 100K instead-they brought along 2M Jewels this time. Last year, he forgot to brings such a "generous" amount, resulting in not as many decorations (*ahem*streamers*ahem*) as he would've liked.

He should've brought Brandish along.

Zashu-chan had taken a liking to the "couple", Dimaria in particular.

Next stop was confetti. This time, Invel made sure to _popsicalize __**them**_ in place this time.

They're not Ice Mages, after all. Take a guess at how many followed; still the same result.

He has parenthood to care for, after all.

Natsu renewed the curse; the flames were starting to diminish.

Natsu tried out a different confetti store this time. But THIS ONE HELD A 50FT CHRISTMAS TREE, WRAPPED WITH A SANTA RUG, RED, WHITE AND BLUE BAUBLES AND HOLLY! He found various dusty and broken knick-knacks-easily fixable-and disheveled wreaths piled together with mistletoe.

And there absolutely has to be an angel. Natsu's eyes twitched, as he snatched the pair of magic-canceling gloves-these angels are enveloped in Holy Magic, a newly revived Lost Art (revived about a two millennia and a December ago)-and dismissed the Ice Mage again. On the way out, Natsu shot him a scathing look, saying _you better get the other items, or you'll pay!_

He gave the other Spriggan half the initial amount, said Etherious sighing that he's being appreciated (trusted) again.

Like flowers blooming in the General's chest again.

Some of such spells and curses can be painful.

Such emotions radiate the atmosphere with these messages. Or vice-versa.

And one could see burns on Invel's arms, wincing in possible, temporary, half-blindness.

Natsu's subconscious couldn't decide between a frown, a sad smile, or the beginnings of his signature grin.

Natsu used his Cursed his black flames to transport the items into the "Requip Space".

Really, it's just an alternate dimension similar to it, barely interacting with the infamous, barely-recorded, Ethernano Stream, which all the Ethernano flows in any world. Life Existence itself.

Of course, Natsu managed to stumble upon the resident bookworms' recordings once upon a time, and more back in their homeland.

Just to remind the audience: Larcade is the oldest sibling, August the middle, and Zashu-chan the youngest child and only daughter.

Natsu clinked 300K on the counter this time, then disappeared to sleep in a tree-cuddling the fragile little thing in his arms gently so as not to fall.

He can bake that wedding-size cake later. Maybe at another date. Or right up until New Years', in which Natsu sleeps the Eve away, then raids August's library, setting up some decent wards complete with detection-and-lock coding .

It wasn't until 5PM that he found himself popsicalized in snow, teeth bonded together. He leered at his "offender", the pompous bastard. He should be lucky that today' s Christmas.

A little giggle resonated from his little baby, having all three crack expressions of amusement.

Natsu ponced down, springing himself onto a house roof. A click (clink) of prisms flashed in rainbow solar power indicated that the owner completed his mission, exhausted from today.

Natsu renewed the flames once more, meticulous under this circumstance unwilling. He shot the other an apology, the receiver nodding in solemn thanks. The mother angled the "poor poor secretary" onto his back, said "delivery boy" blacking out from exhaustion.

The baby yawned as well, so he transformed once more, shooting off for an hour before they reached home to watch Natsu set up the decorations.

He ignored the calls of catcalls of "doting mother" from everyone, happy to see his friends and family smile.

Now he just has to hear back from Ishgar.

* * *

**Me: I'm sorry for taking forever to update. I'd meant to post this chappie on either Christmas Day or Eve, but laziness is still active at ever. I did continued writing this since 12/29 instead of hitting the hay at 10. **

**Zetsuryuu: It's okay. At least Santa still gives you presents.**

**Zashura: That's sad! *anime tears***

**Larcade: *frowns***

**Zeref: *hugs Zetsuryuu* **

**Larcade: What does your name mean?**

**Me, Zetsuryuu: *shrugs* Meh. Ask August.**

***poof***

**August: *quirks a smile* I refuse to tell. Zashura-nee-chan knows, though. And Father.**

**Larcade: *mutters stuff about insolent idiots, like Scar does***

**Zetsuryuu: *puts on a Santa Hat and grins* Who cares? It's the season of giving and family. The villagers are so kind to take in a cynical brat like me.**

**Zashura: *pulls Zetsuryuu into her chest and cries in his hair, then smashes into an unmovable Larcade***

**Me: Happy Holidays, everyone! I'm at my Grandparents' (I like to call it Grandma's, but still), and I managed to write down some more story ideas...though I did jump around the timelines a bit. Don't worry, though. Zashura's still a lil' flabby babe with a little puff of black hair.**

**Zashura: *puffs cheeks and blushes* **

**Zeref: *ruffles her hair***

***pop***

**Natsu: Eh?! Again!**

**Zashura: Group hug! *hold an arm out for Natsu's hugging room.**

**Natsu: *sweatdrops, but hugs his family animal, choosing to cling to his husband and daughter. Larcade looks and smells sweaty***

**Zashura: *Dragneel grin* I love you all! *drags Zetsuryuu and Me into the hug***

**Zetsuryuu: *blushes and hugs her* Has anybody heard of Hanukkah and Kwanzaa?**

**The Rest and Me: *keeps quiet***

**Me: *smiles while trying to conjure more ideas***

**August: *steals Zetsuryuu's beige Curse Camera and snaps a picture* **

**(imagine am old Polaroid, but no letterings or tags or stickies or drawings or sort of print/graphics)**

**(And it's beige like the cloak Ichigo used when he saved Rukia from the Sogyoku)**

**August: Another one for Volume 6,086 of Family Life. *Dragneel grin***


End file.
